My job involves all sorts of things related to typing transcript from sound that I might also have recorded. There are days I hate it all and days it’s bearable. Sometimes what I type is heartening or humorous, even if occasionally very blackly so, but oftentimes it depresses me utterly. Of course we’ve budgeted on winning the lottery so I can give up work, but in the meantime I’m stuck there. Today has been particularly bad because my researching for one matter led me across altogether too many details of a truly ghastly murder.
This was not a tidy, Agatha Christie murder where you can have fun guessing whodunnit (I rarely get it right) but the real and very horrible one of a young woman, who met her grisly end when she was only a little older than Boy. I often have moments of being fearful for him, but part of being a parent is learning to let go of the child and the fearfulness. Today I have wanted to order him home and lock him up! There are evil people in the world, there is no doubt at all about that.
But then I see him managing to steer a reasonably confident course along some of the shoals his peers aren’t negotiating with anything like his grace and good humour and I think that, no matter what I do, there will always be evil. Dr B and I just have to make sure that Boy is sufficiently self-aware not to be duped by those who might perpetrate any on him. We have to be confident that he can leave the safety of the billabong and make his own way out on the river.